en English

Freedom from Fear and Pain

I watched Thursday’s live and at the end when Ashley and Carlie were praying Carlie prayed for someone that was afraid to go outside. I knew it was for me because I was very afraid to go outside even to our mailbox. When Carlie prayed for the person afraid to go outside she also added to take a step and go outside no matter what the doctor says or your body says. Oh yeah that was totally me because not only was I terrified of going outside due to a very traumatic event several years ago but multiple sickness and chronic pain kept me inside. I heard that live twice and I also remember her praying something similar in February on power hour. I choose to let my body and fear win previously but this Saturday morning when I was listening to Thursday’s live again I knew it was one of those turning point moments. I got dressed and on my way out of the door so fast so I wouldn’t chicken out. I was so nervous but I was going to go for a short walk even if it was 2 minutes. And the pain in my body was screaming at the time and had kept me awake all night but I was determined to take a step and a stand. My short walk outside was great and I met an 87 year old lady who needed help with her trash. It was amazing to be outside and help someone else. When I got back home I noticed some of the pain was better in my body and I was so inspired I went with my husband to the store and to run a few necessary errands. Normally I never go and he has to take care of everything . As I was out I noticed almost all of the excruciating pain was gone! It came back a few times but always left again when I got my mind on something else or kept moving. I refused to go lay back down in my sick bed! It was the only good day I had in 6 months. Today is Sunday and I barely have any pain and have had another great day. It like a dark cloud of fear and pain left when I took a step of faith. What I realized is fear wasn’t going to stop with being afraid to go outside. Fear was also keeping me in constant pain. It’s like the longer I let fear go unchecked or even justified staying inside all of the time because of pain the worse pain became and the more fear took from me and I barely noticed. But now I see and I am so excited for what’s next in this season because it felt like the whole world was closed to me and now it seems wide open. Thank you all so much for all you do! You have been a light for me when I wanted to give up.

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